दरवाज़े - Doors

एक दरवाज़ा था 

जो मुझे पुकार रहा था 

मेरे करीब जाते ही वो खुल गया 

पर ये क्या ? 

भीतर एक और दरवाज़ा था 

उसके खुलते ही एक और, फिर एक और 

दरवाज़े खुलते रहे 

मैं भीतर जाता रहा 

घंटे, दिन, हफ्ते, साल बीत गए 

दरवाज़े खुलते रहे 

मैं भीतर जाता रहा 

समय की मर्यादा टूट गयी 

स्थान का आभास छूट गया 

खुद के होनेका एहसास भी मिट गया 

दरवाज़े खुलते रहे 

मैं भीतर जाता रहा 

फिर एक दरवाज़ा खुलते ही 

आगे कोई दरवाज़ा न था 

एक स्पंद था और ख़ामोशी थी 

मैं था और मैं जीवंत था 

आनंद था और प्रेम भी था 

मैंने पूछा 'तुम कौन हो ?' 

ख़ामोशी बोली, 'मैं तुम ही तो हूँ '

मैंने पीछे मुडके देखा तो 

खुदको अनगिनत दरवाज़ों के पीछे 

कौतुहल से देखते पाया 

What influences our perception - 36 elements of Kashmir Shaivism

In my quest for knowing the deeper secrets of existence, I was brought in contact with 36 elements of Kashmir Shaivism that form the basis of our existence. My chief sources of this understanding are Guruji Prem Nirmal’s commentary on the 36 elements and the book ‘Specific Principles of Kashmir Shaivism’ by B. N. Pandit.

While the below summary is intellectually acquired and not organically experienced, I have to admit that this understanding itself has strengthened my depth of meditation as I’m hit frequently by waves of meditative awareness.

I write this piece with a sincere hope that some seekers out there will find this beautiful revelation equally powerful and uplifting.

These 36 elements are the fundamental building blocks of creation with the subtlest being the first and the grossest being the last. I will take the top down approach to follow the path of creation of the universe, which is the outward manifestation of the divine creative energy. This outward manifestation happens in five stages: 1. Creation 2. Preservation and 3. Dissolution of these 36 elements and all beings therein along with the activities of 4. Self-Oblivion and 5. Self Re-cognition

Philosophers of Kashmir Shaivism assert that the subtlest of self is pure consciousness which is in the form of a stirring called ‘Spanda’. It is neither physical vibration like sound or light, nor mental movement like desire, anger, or passion. Rather, it is a spiritual stirring of consciousness whose essential nature is a simultaneous inward and outward vibration. The inward and outward movements of Spanda shine as subjective and objective awareness of I-ness (Shiva) and this-ness (Shakti) respectively, which form the first two elements (tatvas) of Kashmir Shaivism.

1.   Shiva: The changeless, absolute and pure consciousness having inward vibration is Shiva Tatva, which is considered by many as the male vibration.

2.   Shakti: The natural tendency of Shiva towards outward manifestation is Shakti Tatva, which is also considered as the female vibration.

It is important to understand that the Shiva and Shakti are just linguistic distinction but are actually one with the pure consciousness called ‘Paramasiva’ and are not actually a part of the creation. It is also important to note that all the phenomena have an eternal existence within this pure consciousness which is also referred to as Absolute, completely free and divinely potent. All the phenomena lie within this Absolute as its potency, just like a plant lies as a potency within a seed.

3.   Sadashiva (I am This): While the absolute is limitless subjective I-Consciousness, it playfully manifests phenomena as ‘I am this’ or objectivity.   The objective manifestation of the phenomena of this-ness is called creation. In the beginning, these phenomena appear as single, undiversified, faint chunk of this-ness within the unlimited and luminescent I-ness. The vision or understanding of beings in Sadashiva tatva is ‘Unity in Diversity’.

4.   Isvara (This is myself): In the next step of creation, the balance of I-ness and this-ness shifts towards the latter. The awareness now shines as ‘This is myself.’ The vision or understanding of beings in Isvara tatva is ‘Diversity in Unity’.

5.   Shuddha vidya (Pure Knowledge)(‘I am I’ & ‘This is This’): When the vision becomes balanced so that there is equal emphasis on I-ness and this-ness, the Shuddha Vidya element comes into being.  This element is pure, unlimited knowledge which is required for the creation of the cosmos. Shuddha Vidya element is also called Mahamaya, the last of the pure elements.

The first five elements are called pure elements because they retain their awareness of the purity, infiniteness and divine potency of their I-consciousness. The next element is called Impure element because starting here, the actual layer of limitation is introduced.

6.      Maya (illusion): This is the first impure element which has two main effects. First, it hides the pure and divine nature of created beings who forget their purity, infiniteness and divine potency of their I-consciousness.  Second, they see every other entity as absolutely different from their finite I-consciousness. All other phenomena are also imagined to be mutually different as well. Maya is thus the plane of absolute self-oblivion and diversity. Maya causes beings to lose their oneness with divine potency and leaves them with feelings of imperfection and emptiness which they attempt to fill up with outer objects. To enable us to fulfill these desires, Maya allows us just enough powers of creative action (Kala), knowledge (Vidya), interest (Raga), cause & effect (Niyati), and time (kaal).  

These five elements are called the kanchukas or ‘cloaks’.

7.     Kala (Limited Creativity and action):  To enable us to fulfill our desires, Maya allows us just a little power of action to achieve limited results. This limited creative potential is called Kala.

8.    Vidya (Limited Knowledge): Since doing is not possible without knowing, maya also gives us limited knowledge called Vidya. This is a very limited and hence impure knowledge within Maya and must not be confused with the fifth element which is pure, unlimited knowledge.

9.   Raga (Limited interest): To further limit our potential, Maya appears within us as Raga or limited interest as the ninth element. Because of this limited interest, we’re not inclined to pursue the full potential of our creative abilities or to reach our full potential. Raga also limits our potential to do and to know by limiting our focus only on things that interest us.

This raga should not be confused with attachment which is an attribute of the intellect (buddhi).

10.  Niyati (cause and effect): This tenth element enforces the law of nature upon its beings. It establishes the order of succession in all the phenomena. E.g. how a seed develops into a tree. This law restricts everything within the framework of cause and effect.

11.  Kaal (Time): This element restricts our very being within the maze of time. It limits our being from being present everywhere at all the time to being only somewhere at some time. While our true self is Timeless (Akala), this element makes us feel that “we were, we are, and we will be.” And with limitation of time, comes the limitation of space as they are the opposite side of the same coin. If you can’t be everywhere at all time and you can be only somewhere at some time, then it takes some time to go from one place to another. Hence the illusion of space and time.

12. Purusha (Finite I-consciousness): The I-consciousness, reduced to finitude, is the twelfth element called Purusha.

13. Prakriti (Object of I-consciousness): The object of Purusha element is the thirteenth element called Prakriti. It is also called the MulaPrakriti (the basic substance). Through Prakriti, Shiva starts further phase of creation. This element is the highest element within the Samkhya philosophy and the undiversified source of the remaining 23 objective elements.

For the remaining 23 elements, we will start with the first and the grossest of elements for simplified understanding.

a.      Pancha-bhutas: The gross phenomena is divided into five elements known as the five bhutas called  

1.      prithvi (earth),

2.      jal (water),

3.      agni (fire),

4.      vayu (air),

5.      aakash (ether or space)

b.     Tanmatras: Five bhutas evolve from the next level of subtle elements called Tanmatras. These include

6.      Odour

7.      Flavour

8.      Light-colour

9.      Touch

10.   Sound

As is obvious, these subtle elements are the basic objects of the five exterior senses which are the subsequent elements

c.       Gnanendri – Senses

11.  Smell

12.  Taste

13.  Sight

14.  Touch

15.  Hearing

d.      Karmendri – instruments of action

16.  Reproduction

17.  Elimination

18.  Locomotion

19.  Handling

20.  Expression (speech)   

The next three elements are collectively called the Antahkaranas – mind, ego and intellect.

21.  Buddhi (Intellect):

22.  Ahankar (Ego):

23.  Manas (Mind):  

Source:
1. http://premnirmal.blogspot.ae/2010/09/36-elements-of-kashmir-shaivism.html and 

2. Book: Specific Principles of Kashmir Shaivism by B. N. Pandit. 

I love you

"I love you": 

Mind turns this statement into an investment for which it seeks returns, a name, a relationship, builds an expectation of a response, gropes for consequences, wants promises that what is now will ever remain so and hence ruins it before its full potential is even realized. 

Heart, on the other hand, takes nothing more than this phrase and soaks in it, feels it, lives it. For the heart this is the truth of the moment, the fullness of life as it experiences NOW in the wonderment of love. It makes no promises for the future and hence it realizes the true potential of this experience.

ज़मीन की खुशबू कुछ और है

चाँद तारों की कहाँ बात करता है ग़ालिब
पहले इस ज़मीन को प्यार करना तो सीखले 
दूर से तो हर कोई खूबसूरत लगता है 
जो है करीब उसे पहचानना तो सीखले 

चाँद की रौनक में मोहब्बत है ज़रूर 
पर ज़मीन की खुशबू कुछ और है 
तारों की चमक में सुकून है ज़रूर 
पर यहाँ हवा की कशिश कुछ और है 

Win as much as you can

In one of the annual events of my company, we were made to play a game called 'Win as much as you can.' As the name suggests, the aim was to garner as many points as possible. No one was a holy cow, no move was a taboo, only winning mattered. 

The rules were such that if all the teams got it right, points were distributed, but if only one team got it right, all the points went to that team. So the recipe for winning maximum points was not just to get it right but do it in a way that all others get it wrong. Also, there were negative points if you got it wrong. It was a classic case of human psychology and game theory. The ground rules were laid clear and it was understood that if everyone stayed truly honest, all the teams could've won. There were about four rounds and the stakes got bigger as the game progressed. But what began was a downpour of deceit, secrecy, back-stabbing and betrayal within the context of the game. At the end of round 4, the winning team's score was ‘(-2)’. All other teams were more negative.  

My learning: This game reflected our lives quite closely. If winning is all that matters in life, then we take the whole society, ecology, nature and life down with us. There is no winner in this philosophy, there is only the one who loses the least. We all started the game with a neutral zero, but we all – including the winner – ended up in the negative. This insightful game was for me, the reflection of life as we live it now. Do we realize yet that we’re all in the negative already? 

Movement and Stillness

Animals move on the land, birds fly through air, fishes swim in water.
Vehicles move on the road, planes fly through air, ships sail on the sea.
Moon revolves around the earth and earth around the sun while sun moves through galaxy.

Every motion happens on relative lack of motion.
Every action occurs on relative inaction.
Every movement feeds off a stillness.
Everything seen is just a layer of the unseen.
Everything felt is just a glimpse of the unfelt.
The gross is the tip, while the subtle is the iceberg.

The animal is the movement while the land is the stillness.
The bird is the seen while the air is the unseen.
The fish is the universe while the ocean is the consciousness.
One exists not without the other. 

Hugs

A hug is not a perfunctory intertwining of bodies. It is a sharing of our space, breaking down of the walls, a healing of the wounds, a melting of hearts, a prayer of expansion and an experience of oneness of the body, mind and spirit. Let’s hug a little more, embrace a little longer, celebrate and feel our oneness with each other. For anything less is demeaning to our spirit. 

Lyrical Darwinism

If Charles Darwin was a poet, how would he write his 'Theory of Evolution'? May be by simple juxtaposition of words. I began writing ‘Lyrical Darwinism’ with that thought and extended it to how evolution is likely to shift if one of the fundamental assumptions made by Darwin is changed.

***********
Everything is scarce. 

I compete with you.
You compete with me.

I fear you.
You fear me.

I hate you.
You hate me.

I kill you.
You kill me.

Everything is abundant. 

I recognize you.
You recognize me.

I accept you.
You accept me.

I love you.
You love me.

I become you.
You become me.

I am you.
You are me.

There is no I.
There is no you.

There is only us.

कि कल कोई ये न कहे... So tomorrow no one says...

देख लेने दो आज इस दुनिया को मुझे जी भरके,
कि कल जहाँ ये न कहे कि मैं यहाँ से गुज़रा न था.

बरस जाने दो आज इस बारिश को मुझपर जी भरके,
कि कल कोई बूँद ये न कहे कि मैं उसमें भीगा न था.

चल लेने दो आज मुझे इस हसीं ज़मीन पर जी भरके,
कि कल मिट्टी ये न कहे कि मैंने उसे छुआ न था.

भर लेने दो आज आसमां को आँखों में मेरी जी भरके, 
कि कल फलक ये न कहे कि मैं उसमें खोया न था.

ले लेने दो आज मुझे साँसें जी भरके,
कि कल पवन ये न कहे कि मैंने उसे महसूस किया न था.

जल जाने दो आज मुझे इस आग में जी भरके,
कि कल कोई लौ ये न कहे कि मैं उसमें समाया न था.

जी लेने दो आज मुझे हर पल को जी भरके,
कि कल कोई लम्हा ये न कहे कि मैंने उसमें ज़िंदा न था.

गा लेने दो आज हर गीत मुझे जी भरके,
कि कल कोई अलफ़ाज़ ये न कहे कि मैंने उसे गुनगुनाया न था 

English Translation

Let the world see me today to its satisfaction,

So tomorrow no one says I didn’t visit this place.

Let it rain on me today,

so tomorrow no drops says that I didn’t get wet in it.

Let me walk today on this beautiful earth,

So tomorrow it doesn’t say that I didn’t touch it.

Let me fill the sky today in my eyes,

So tomorrow it doesn’t say that I didn’t make it my mirror.

Let me breathe deeply today to my contentment,

So tomorrow the air doesn’t say that I didn’t soak in it.

Let me burn today in this fire,

So tomorrow the flames won’t say that I didn’t embrace them.

Let me live every moment today,

So tomorrow no moment says that I didn’t find life in it.

Let me sing a song today
So tomorrow no word would say that I didn't hum it. 

પરોઢીયુ - Dawn

પરોઢીયે પંખી જાગીને ગાતાં મીઠા તારા ગાન 

પરોઢીયે મંદિર મસ્જીદમાં ધરતાં લોકો તારુ ધ્યાન 

તૂ ધરતીમાં તૂ છે નભમાં સાગર મહી વસે છે તૂ 

ચાંદા સૂરજ માંએ તૂ છે ફૂલો મહી વસે  છે તૂ 

હરતાં ફરતાં કે નીંદરમાં રાત્રે દિવસે સાંઝ સવાર 

તારો અમને સાથ સદાએ તૂ છે સૌનો રક્ષણહાર 

દેવ બનાવી દુનિયા છે તે તારો છે સૌને આધાર 

તૂ છે સૌનો સૌ છે તારા નમીએ તુજને વારંવાર 

This Gujarati poetry was taught to us in our second grade. I don't know how I remembered it for so many years, but now that I do remember, I thought I'd share it before my memory gives in. I don't know who the poet is but if someone knows, then please let me know so I can give the due credit. 

That I cannot live without you

That I cannot live without you is a fantastic obsession.

That you hold the key to my joy is a brilliant fascination.

That without you I'm nothing is a magnificent illusion.

That you complete me is an outstanding delusion.

That I need your love is a romantic perception.

That I can possess you is a bold transgression.

Feelings and words

In the ocean of feelings, words are the shores.

In the wind of emotions, words are the sails.

Feelings are the limitless vista, while words are our eyes.

Emotions make the universe while words form the skies.

In our attempt to name it, we limit it.

In our quest to define it, we kill it.

There is so much to feel that to verbalize

is to squeeze a whale in a parrot cage.

And yet we choose the limited over the unlimited,

we cling to the small and forsake the big.

We dethrone the whispers of the soul

and crown the din of the mind.

The same trait rules me one way or another,

to stitch the threads of emotions into a clothe of words.

So I must stay true to my call

and wrap soaring energy into verbal meat-balls.

Someday I will grow beyond this desire to express,

this quest to verbalize and my zest to prove a point.

Someday I will rise above to simply soak in the feelings,

to bathe in the stillness, and to whisper through silence. 

I feel that ...

The lark doesn't sing because the sun is rising,
the sun rises to hear the lark sing.

The sea doesn't roar because the moon shines,
the moon shines to see the waves soar.

It doesn't rain because the earth is parched,
it rains because the sky yearns to kiss its beloved.

Wind doesn't carry the fragrance because the rose bears it,
air wraps the rose to unwrap the fragrant gift. 

Theist vs. Atheist

A theist sought God and found only himself.
An atheist sought himself and found only God. 

Take me to that place

Take me to that place where

I can see but I need no eyes,

I can hear but I need no ears,

I can fly but I need no wings,

I can walk but I need no limbs.

Take me to that place where

I can breathe but I need no lungs,

I can smell but I need no nose,

I can taste but I need no tongue,

I can feel but I need no skin.

Take me to that place where

I can listen to the light

and watch the sound,

I can taste a fragrance

and drink the wind.

Take me to that place …

****
I dedicate this poem to my yoga teacher Pradeep Ullal and Ramudu during whose meditation sessions, this poem came to me. 

Space and time

Stars seem smaller than the moon,
while my finger can hide the sun.

Earth to me looks flatter than it is;
my breath is louder than outer noise.

The sky is small enough to fit my eye,
while my hands easily enclose the sea.

Yesterday affects me the most,
while yesteryear is a sketchy haze.

The imminent stimulates the most,
distant future is an unsolved maze.

Closeness breeds relative disproportion,
while distance puts things in perspective.

The whole game is played on space and time.
The closer you get, the bigger the illusion.