Friday, August 27, 2004

The Moments that make Life

Souls at war
to fulfil their desire

A couple consummating.
The manifest from the unmanifest.

Birth - The death of reality.
The cosmic amnesia.

I - The kid.
Innocence personified.
Question mark on the brow.
No baggage of the past.
No worries of the future.
Just the present.
Mirth of the moment.
Euphoria for no reason.
Committing faux pass with the liberty
of impunity.
Stealing marbles; mom's rebuke.
First lessons in morality.

Teenage - Innocence lost.
Dilemma at the crossroads.

The first love.
The spring of life.
Her eyes looking deep into mine.
Heart stopping at her glance so divine.
Marooned in a different plane.
Glut of ecstasy, paucity of pain.
The outlook to life was never so positive.
Never thought that 'someone' could ever be so addictive.
The turning to roses of stones that life throws.
Forget friends, I then liked even my foes.

The heartbreak.
The loneliness in the crowd.
Her thoughts in loneliness.
Catapulting me to a different plane.
Forget ecstacy, glut of pain.
The roses of life becoming the thorns.
The easiest of tasks appearing like milestones.

The first paycheck.
The joy of accomplishment.
The end of dependence.
The start of interdependence.

Marriage - Life's solstice.
The solemn pledges of fidelity,
not just in action, but also in thought.
The promise of togetherness in
the life's battles, to be fought.

Seeing the unborn through her eyes.
Childish exuberance on her adult face,
I barely could surmise.

The first hug thereafter.
The eternal thanksgiving.
The bundle of joy.
The epitome of desirelessness,
on my two palms.
Two minutes of holding my baby and
forgetting my life without him.

No jealousy on seeing successful young men.
No desire on seeing nubile young women.

Deathbed - Introspection.
Everything material becoming immaterial.
Begging for a solitary chance.
Incapacitated of all but a contrite glance.

Doomsday - The death of amnesia.
The birth of reality.
The unmanifest from the manifest.

The astral wait.

Souls at war
to fulfil their desire.

Selfishness! A Paradox

I stood first in the school.
My performance reached its peak.
Success earned me many friends.
Some true. Some fake.

'X' was one of them.
Sincere but shrewd of the lot.
He befriended me for grades as
he wanted to be nothing but a 'doc'.

"Why only a Doc?", I once asked.
A doc, as I want -
to be rich. Very rich.
to be famous.
people to know me, respect me.
people to know I'm successful.
people to envy me for what I have.

'Y' joined the school
I lost my rank to him
I lost 'X' to him.
Rather, 'X' dumped me for him.

"Selfish fellow" - 'Z' sighed.
"Naah" - I emphatically denied.

He feels happy when -
others look up to him,
others respect him,
others think he is happy,
others envy him for what he has.

He dreams of being famous
But fame is - only when 'others' are.

These 'others' are an end in itself.
His means to that end are
deceit and betrayal of these very 'others'.

He mortgages his happiness to others.
He judges himself by what others think of him.
These 'others' define his end
and the means to that end.
He lives his life for 'others'.
He is anything but selfish.
He is selfless.

I am ...

To experience the experience depicted in this poem is the 
aim of my life. I wrote this poem in anticipation of 
this eternal experience. I wrote this when I was eating, 
sleeping and drinking this experience. 
I just had to write it. 

My heart stopped beating,
the lungs stopped breathing,
the breath stopped flowing. 
My body was as if dead. 
Yet I knew, I was never more alive, 
or closer to reality. 
My body was in suspended animation 
electrified by the cosmic current. 

My soul and cognition
broke free from the bodily cage,
and expanded their realms 
to the bliss of cosmic consciousness. 

Through the soil, 
I saw the roots. 
Through the trunk of trees, 
I discerned the fluids. 
Opaqueness was defunct, 
transparency ubiquitous. 

People on a distant land 
moved about my cosmic body,
even as an ant wandered on my 
now inert physical body. 

Joy, sorrow, anger, jealousy, lust, 
pleasure, pain - all merged into 
the perennial cosmic bliss. 
Cities, countries, oceans, 
earth, sun, galaxies 
were all within me. 

I was large enough to have the 
whole universe in my underbelly,
and yet small enough to be 
within an atom simultaneously. 

I heard the cosmic vibration 
"AUM" reverberating throughout 
the infinitude of the universe 
and within me all the same. 

My vision was all dimensional, all pervasive. 
My senses all perceptive. 

Past, present and future dissolved in me. 
I was beyond time. 
Here, there and in between were within me.
I was beyond space. 

There wasn't a twig that would 
break without my knowledge. 
There wasn't a mountain 
I couldn't move. 
There wasn't a creation 
I wasn't in. 
I was basking in the superether of 
omniscience, omnipotence and omnipresence. 

"Samadhi" made me realize that God is 
bliss, beyond the boundaries of imagination. 
seductive, beyond the thought of comparison. 
I was now one with God. 
Rather, I was God. 
I am God. 

As I revoked my consciousness 
to the strangulating boundaries of physical cage, 
my breath started flowing, 
my lungs started breathing and 
my heart started beating. 
The ant was still foraging 
on my physical periphery. 

Out on a ramble 
I saw fellow human beings,
blissfully unaware of their real self. 
Their parochial view of self made  
them feel they're their profession,
anything and everything but God. 

I saluted the master magician, 
for having built "The Matrix" called earth. 
Hypnotized us all in the veil of delusion,
making us believe that the unreal is the real,
While the real is elusive and beyond the limits 
of comprehension of the dormant mind.

The Purity in Loneliness

The dew hadn’t evaporated yet. 
My hands fiddled with the faucet. 
There I was in the loo, 
seated on the closet. 

With the cleansing of bowels, 
myriad thoughts visited my mind. 
In the loneliness of the loo, 
my real face started to unwind. 

I pushed from atop a building, 
a neighbour who I hated. 
I kicked and punched a colleague 
for he, and not I, was promoted. 
I unleashed my animal instincts 
on a girl, for whom I lusted. 
All this of course in my thoughts, 
while my kingdom in virtual reality lasted. 

As I wrapped myself in clothing, 
to conform to the worldly decency, 
I also draped myself in the 
invisible facade of hypocrisy. 

Sometime during the day, I met all the three. 
Customary pleasantries were exchanged with me. 
Thank God! They didn’t know, 
what menial emotions they stirred in me. 

Most people would cringe with revulsion 
at the mere mention of the word "closet". 
But they forget that this is one seat
that brings out a man's most intriguing facet. 

The purity of his thoughts in loneliness 
is the real measure of a man's true character. 
For without a good thought behind a good deed, 
he merely remains a good, but hollow actor.

The Homecoming

As I laid on my bed,
scenes of my life pirouetted through my mind.
Scenes of times, happy and sad;
of deeds, good and bad.
My friends and kins were all around;
their faces, uncomfortably grim.
I was breathing the last few breaths
on my deathbed.

As death stared in my face,
I thought of times when I had sinned,
and wondered, if it had to end like this,
were the misdeeds even worth it?
A passing thought came across.
If all could see death up close,
they'd all be better people
as I thought I'd now be, 

if I got another chance.

But that was not to be
as an excruciating pain rose up my spine.
It rose and rose, until one moment
when it all disappeared and
it felt like there never was any.

I opened my eyes in jubilation.
Told my wailing kins and consoling friends,
"Cheer up as I'm back",
but strangely, they wouldn't listen.
I looked further and found myself lying on the bed.
I now realized, why wouldn't they listen.
Another passing thought came across.
The "I" had changed its perspective now.
The "I" that was the body, "The Physical",
was now the soul, "The Astral".

I didn't know what to feel.
Rejoice? For my newfound consciousness
and that I was now the liberated one?
Or despair? For I had lost all my dear ones
and that now I was alone.
I beseeched God to help and
"The Eternal White Light" pulled me to the source.
I then realized I was not alone
as I told Him, 

"I'm coming. I'm coming Home."

Sour Grapes - A Sequel to a Fable

Once upon a time
in a jungle, there was a fox.
He was the leader of the skulk
would perform different feat when his friends would coax.

A new challenge was to reach a high bunch of grapes
to raise his own bar.
But having failed to reach them -
he declared - "The grapes are sour" .

Please stay back - don't leave just yet my friend
There's a twist in the tale and this is not just the end.

The vixens yelped that he had failed.
The poor fox despaired as he felt being nailed.

The fox decided to earn his reputation
to get back the respect after the plump.
So when his friends rested in the lair
he would practise high jump.

One day as the skulk watched in awe
He jumped and deftly grabbed the grapes.
He was now relieved to have
his critics look like apes.

But to his dismay he found
that the grapes were indeed sour.
He was now hopelessly bound
as - his smiling visage - was the need of the hour.

Having performed the improbable feat,
he had to pretend and eat
the sour grapes with relish,
an effort he could hardly cherish.

Having reached the top,
what others thought was "an enviable achievement",
he found - it was a bed of thorns
as he remorsed at his own predicament.

The Realization

I took the obscure bylane
to reach the nondescript building.
Met my colleagues and friends,
who were already there waiting.

Together we all waited
for the kids to come out.
About a dozen of them came,
with a hope that would never fade out.

God hadn't been too kind to them,
they were bequeathed with misfortune.
They lived in an orphanage,
a life that played to a discordant tune.

Today was a special day for them.
On schedule was "once in a blue moon" shopping.
They all reacted differently in anticipation,
some did it by tickling and some by giggling.

We took them all to a shop
to the discomfort of many shoppers.
But the kids simply basked in the moment
with a shine on their face misfit for paupers.

Unlike other kids, these were a well-behaved lot.
They wouldn't even touch, the things they were to shop.
For a long time, I couldn't hear their voices.
Perhaps they never thought, life would give them any choices.

I wondered why two kids were very quiet.
What I found made my heart go numb.
As if being orphan was not enough,
those kids were also deaf and dumb.

We finally dropped them home.
Their hands full with stuffs they had taken.
They waved us a mirthful good-bye
as we left with a soul that was stirred and shaken.

Not long thereafter did I realize
that this was the best day of my life.
I had done something for someone,
who couldn't give back a tangible return.

I realized what joy is there in giving,
helping these kids fight against their odds.
And since kids are closer to Him;
this was a subtle way to realize the Gods.

I realized how lucky I am,
to have parents for all the love I need.
Oh Lord! I won't whine for not having shoes,
for I saw someone without feet.

The Silence That Spake

The breeze was still, 
the silence was loud, 
there I was with my love 
as our hearts spoke aloud. 

The birds chirped to their nests, 
the sun was about to drown, 
and there we were, unaware, 
in the world of our own. 

We sat on a dusty bench.
My hand caressing my girl, 
she was enclosed in my arms 
like a string through a pearl. 

As the sun kissed the earth, 
I gave her a peck. 
She shuddered like a ship 
struck with lightening on her deck. 

She complained, "You're so silent when alone with me, 
with others you're so loquacious." 
I quipped, "With you I'm on a different plane, 
where silence, not speech, is precious." 

Quietly, we gazed into the darkness,
till our eyes began to ache. 
We didn't need the word of mouth,
for it was the silence that spake.